Pool's Closed

**PraiseKEK** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:44 am AIDS subject: Lemme set the scene

Its 2:17AM. Its dark. The only light flows from my Television, which is currently showing the "Secret stash" version of Katt Williams Live. Then the commercials flow out of no where. These are not your normal commercials. These are those late night commercials that are so laden with ZEBRA SALAD TOSSING and drugs that i could jerk off and get high at the same time, just from observing these advertisements. The first one was a horribly drawn out pen0r enhancement (read enlarge.ment) pill advertisement (called Enhanze or some stupid shit). Everytime they would make a reference to the peenus, they would say something ridiculous like "that special part of your body". I lold. And lold hard.

(This is a reenactment, as i forgot most of the conversation)
Man: "I bought some enhancement pills"
Woman: "Oh you mean muscle enhancement?"
Man: "No..."
Woman: "Then what kind of enhancement"
Man: "Oh you know, For my Special part"
Woman: "Maybe this will enhance our ZEBRA SALAD TOSSING life"

Then a doctor came on. He looked older than that Atari 2600 you find in your grandparents attic. He discussed how the pill worked. It then cut to a scene of about 5 scientists in a room with a single table, which looked like something cut straight out of Star Trek, with Erlenmeyer flasks of red, yellow and green liquids. All sorts of tubes and pipes ran allover the table.
I realized that was an utter farce, as the pills were NONE of those colors. Infact the pills are white. Fail.
Before i know it, the commercial is over and i am observing an advertisement for one of those phone dating services. It was the fakest shit i ever seen

Woman 3 to Man 1 on telephone: Comeover and bring a friend
Woman 1: ZOMG i hope those guys are as cute as the ones from before
Woman 2: zomg every guy i meet from [name of service removed due to faulty memory.] is soooo cute. i love the guys from [what ever the fuck that shits called]
Woman 1 opens door.
all 3 woman: ZOMG THEYRE SOO CUTE!

tl;dr: Late night commercials are epic luls
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**crunkzilla** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:13 am AIDS subject:

dman those phone dating commercials piss me off. they make me feel embarassed for the people that actually call in. some mangled obese man searching through his rools to find his peenus so he can jack off to showcase, and some 300lb grotesque wench with a bicycle pump half way up her cunt. the worst part is they prbibly think someone normal looking is on the other line. then when they each see how ugly the other is, they get desperate and decide to fuck anyway, makeing more hiddeous offspring to plague the earth for another generation.

ima go watch some now.

**xBLOODYxEMOxVAMPIRExTEARS** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:50 am AIDS subject:

I stayed up to 12 watching TV in herey england once, then I started to see cOoKiEs adverts..

**the camster** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:04 pm AIDS subject:

lol whut and lul
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**xBLOODYxEMOxVAMPIRExTEARS** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:13 pm AIDS subject:

**Sodaz** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 7:00 pm AIDS subject:

lul=Dick
U neukend lul=You fucking dick
I got some lulz out of that=I got some dickz out of that.
I did it for the lulz= I did it for the dickz

I learned this when a dutch guy who I talk to on MSN was like wtf when I said This is a source of lulz
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**Habbit** · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:41 pm AIDS subject:

**xBLOODYxEMOxVAMPIRExTEARS** · Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 3:43 pm AIDS subject:

LOL POSTRAPE

**Inverted Scrotum** · Joined: 05 Feb 2007 AIDS: 51 AIDS Rank: FGSFDS Pools: 1

lol, i watched those same commercials in the same order last night at about 2 o' clock. Was watching celebrity deathmatch

**The_Tick** · Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:27 pm AIDS subject:

I actually saw that same shit in the morning, when my T.V turned on to wake me up. Then i started to think, that all the habbofags are probably calling the number for the peenus burning pills right now.
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**Rick Santorum** · Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 2:57 pm AIDS subject:

LOL WUT

I was sitting in my senate office (I don't care what the fuck that faggot security guard says), at around three pence in the morning, when a hallowed fanfare of harlots speaking in tounges emerged from the magical black box!

"I don't know, I've never been on a date before!"
"Trust me, THEY'RE GONNA BE HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
THEY SCREAMED, AS TWO MEN ENTERED THE SCENE!

It was truly a magical play, albeit 20 seconds long.

I'm Rick Santorum, and indeed fuck the Dutch.
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